How to be assertive?

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Being assertive is important in all facets of life. Whether it be in a professional environment or the more everyday instances in life, exuding confidence is important.

If you are not assertive, chances are that people will not treat you with respect. They will either ignore you, or not take you seriously, to begin with.

Lack of assertive tone might also mean that you are treated like a doormat.

You are then not given leadership roles, which has grave implications for your professional life. Similarly, if you are not assertive, people might also exploit you. Alongside taking advantage of you, they might not also follow your directives, or delegate to you an ungodly amount of work.

Your lack of assertion might lead to extreme anxiety, as you are not given your due, you are unjustly deprived of opportunities, and your self-esteem also takes a hit, meriting then help from a Psychologist in Karachi to cope.

Good news: You can learn to be assertive

Even if being assertive is not a part of your DNA, you can still work on acquiring the skill. Being assertive not only helps you in driving your message across with respect and solemnity, but it also prevents you from becoming everyone’s saddlebag.

So, to be more assertive, try incorporating the following tips in your life:

Don’t get guilt tripped

It is good to be empathetic, but it does not mean that you destroy yourself in the process. Some people also exploit this very trait to get benefits from others.

Hence, don’t feel guilty about saying no when you cannot easily accommodate another person. It does not make you a bad person.

Plan it out

It often happens that you find the retort or the response after the dialogue has passed, and you have passively observed it. You could not say no at the moment and are saddled with the same work you were delegating.

One way to avoid this is by planning the conversation. Have contingency dialogues so that you can respond in due time. For example, if your colleague wants you to do their work, reply with I am sorry, this is not fitting into my schedule or something similar. Be polite yet firm in your refusal. It will take time for you to get into the practice, but once you are in it, you will not even plan it out.

Practice

Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who is the most assertive of all? You!

Try to practice being assertive in front of the mirror, or even with your friends. Plan the phrases, and practice using them, so they roll off your tongue easily. With such practice, you can also fix your body language to exude more confidence. 

Relaxation techniques

When you are stressed, as is the case when you are out of your comfort zone, it can be harder for you to be assertive. Naturally, your concentration is on your racing heart and not saying no.

So, for such instances, try relaxation techniques, with deep breathing being very effective. There are other breathing exercises and small meditation drills that can be of benefit.

The need to be assertive is real

While some people are fine with their lax attitude because either they are secure in their position, or they are respected despite it, others need to be more assertive to make space for themselves.

Your being assertive is not you being egotistical, and wanting validation for yourself by exerting your importance, but it is required for your career. Hence, do not be afraid to seek out more ways to be assertive.

Lack of assertive behavior can lead to issues like resentment, anger, martyr complex, lack of self-esteem, vengefulness, and stress, all of which are negative emotions that take a toll on your mental health, meriting a visit then to the Best Psychologist in Rawalpindi.

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